How Western Imitation Is Changing African Homes

Test a Drunkard’s Strength by Spilling Their Drink
Saturday, March 22, 2025

No matter how intoxicated someone may be, pour out their drink and you’ll witness a sudden surge of energy. Swahili wisdom aptly describes this phenomenon as being possessed—“mzuka umempanda”.

Dar es Salaam – If you're curious to know the real strength of a drunkard, try spilling their drink. Even one who appears completely knocked out will jolt to life as though hit by a current, ready to confront multiple people at once. This transformation is often attributed to some mystical force taking over—what locals refer to as "mzuka".

In a similar vein, if you want to witness a child’s unfiltered rage, try hurting their mother. These days, the traditional family unit of father, mother, and children seems forgotten in many urban neighborhoods. Once upon a time, familial bonds were cherished—biological or not. Children were raised together without knowing who was adopted or born into the family. Unity was everything.

The Power of Words: Insult a Parent, Trigger the Child

Nothing provokes a child more than insulting their parent—especially their mother. It's often better to offend them personally than to insult their mother. A personal slight may be forgiven; an attack on their mother might ignite chaos.

One striking example is of a talented footballer from the Lake Zone, who abandoned his national team call-up after the coach insulted his mother. Known for his casual banter, the city-born coach often used harsh language to hype up players. That day, he crossed a line with the wrong person—someone who didn't take urban slang lightly. The response was almost violent.

Cultural Bonds and Gender Roles

Traditionally, sons formed close bonds with their mothers while daughters often connected more with their fathers. Behavioral studies suggest this stems from innate roles: boys tend to protect while girls are protected.

In rural areas, mothers traveling long distances often take their sons as informal bodyguards. The boy may be small, but should danger arise, he instinctively steps forward. This may be influenced by patriarchal systems, but it also reflects a deeper cultural understanding of a boy’s role in society.

Today, however, this dynamic is changing rapidly. The natural order of things is being replaced with a culture of imitation. Many blame this on the explosion of digital communication. People can now absorb foreign cultures without context—leading to mimicry rather than meaningful adaptation.

The Imitation Trap: Embracing What We Don’t Understand

Modern society has adopted numerous foreign practices—often without fully understanding them. Someone hears about Western funeral customs and rushes to mimic them, bringing flowers to a neighbor’s burial simply because they saw it in a movie. Yet, even the cultures we imitate have had to correct their own mistakes.

The phrase “No Hurry in Africa” has often been misunderstood as a reference to laziness. In truth, it celebrated the abundance and self-sufficiency of African communities, who did not need to live life in a constant rush. Today, however, people with no jobs still support large families, a feat unimaginable in some Western contexts.

The uncritical adoption of foreign lifestyles has also eroded family values. Marriage has become contractual rather than emotional, giving rise to terms like “single father” and “single mother”. In these blended families, each parent fiercely protects their biological children—creating emotional divisions within the household.

Parental Alienation and Identity Crisis

This division has led to emotional estrangement. A mother’s child may leave the house when the father enters, and vice versa. It’s almost as if parents are planting seeds of resentment in their children, who grow up viewing the other parent as an enemy.

It’s not uncommon for children to refer to their parents by first names. A son returning from school might say, “Hi Eddie!” instead of respectfully greeting his father. Even if traditional greetings like "shikamoo" are seen as archaic, there are cultural alternatives—such as the Nyakyusa's “Twa mbombo?”—that preserve dignity.

The Erosion of Respect

The effects of calling parents by name are now clearly visible. Some daughters speak to their fathers as if they are peers or rivals, dressing inappropriately and flaunting themselves in front of them. It opens doors for moral decay, putting even well-meaning parents in precarious situations.

Likewise, some sons openly challenge their fathers, treating them as equals or worse. In some cases, these sons believe they are the true heads of the household simply because they contribute financially or support their mothers. Alarmingly, we are heading toward a future where a son might send his father to the store with the command: “Hurry up, I need to leave!”